The Relationship Room
You didn’t fall out of love. You lost the map back to each other.
Emotionally Focused Therapy based couples counselling and relationship therapy via Zoom, in Wellington, and in Hawke's Bay.
You are not alone
Do Any of These Feel a Little Too Close to Home?
01
You love each other but keep getting stuck in the same arguments — and nothing ever seems to resolve.
02
The distance between you has been growing and you don't know how to close it.
03
An affair has come to light — and you don't know whether you can come back from it, only that you can't stay where you are.
04
Trust has been broken and you don't know how to move forward.
05
You've tried couples therapy before and something didn't quite reach you.
06
At least one of you isn't sure whether to stay or go.
“All relationship distress is, at its root, an attachment story. My work is to help you understand yours - and write a better one.”
Sabrina Barbara
You are not alone
Do Any of These Feel a Little Too Close to Home?
01
You love each other but keep getting stuck in the same arguments — and nothing ever seems to resolve.
02
The distance between you has been growing and you don't know how to close it.
03
An affair has come to light — and you don't know whether you can come back from it, only that you can't stay where you are.
04
Trust has been broken and you don't know how to move forward.
05
You've tried couples therapy before and something didn't quite reach you.
06
At least one of you isn't sure whether to stay or go.
“All relationship distress is, at its root, an attachment story. My work is to help you understand yours - and write a better one.”
Sabrina Barbara
You are not alone
Do Any of These Feel a Little Too Close to Home?
01
You love each other but keep getting stuck in the same arguments — and nothing ever seems to resolve.
02
The distance between you has been growing and you don't know how to close it.
03
An affair has come to light — and you don't know whether you can come back from it, only that you can't stay where you are.
04
Trust has been broken and you don't know how to move forward.
05
You've tried couples therapy before and something didn't quite reach you.
06
At least one of you isn't sure whether to stay or go.
“All relationship distress is, at its root, an attachment story. My work is to help you understand yours - and write a better one.”
Sabrina Barbara
Most couples don't arrive here after a single bad argument. They arrive after years of the same argument — the same withdrawal, the same pursuit, the same silence that falls afterwards and somehow gets longer every time. What looks like a communication problem is almost never just that. Underneath the pattern is something older and quieter: a fear that you are not really there for each other anymore. That you have lost each other, without quite knowing when it happened. The work here is not about learning to fight better. It is about understanding what the fight has always been about — and finding your way back to each other through that.
Most couples don't arrive here after a single bad argument. They arrive after years of the same argument — the same withdrawal, the same pursuit, the same silence that falls afterwards and somehow gets longer every time. What looks like a communication problem is almost never just that. Underneath the pattern is something older and quieter: a fear that you are not really there for each other anymore. That you have lost each other, without quite knowing when it happened. The work here is not about learning to fight better. It is about understanding what the fight has always been about — and finding your way back to each other through that.
HOW I WORK
My Approach
Most couples arrive having tried, for a long time, to fix things alone. What they find here isn't new techniques — it's a different understanding of what's been happening underneath, where real change takes hold.
01.
The Gold Standard
Evidence-based and rigorously researched — Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most studied approaches to couples therapy.
01.
The Gold Standard
Evidence-based and rigorously researched — Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most studied approaches to couples therapy.
02.
Attachment-informed
All relationship distress is, at its root, an attachment story. I help couples and families understand theirs — and write a better one.
02.
Attachment-informed
All relationship distress is, at its root, an attachment story. I help couples and families understand theirs — and write a better one.
03.
For the Ones Who've Tried
If previous therapy didn't quite reach you, Emotionally Focused Therapy works differently. It goes deeper. That's what it's designed to do.
03.
For the Ones Who've Tried
If previous therapy didn't quite reach you, Emotionally Focused Therapy works differently. It goes deeper. That's what it's designed to do.
"Your emotional signals are the music to your dance. When they get distorted, you stop hearing each other. My job is to help you tune back in."
Sabrina Barbara
Meet Your Therapist
I'm Sabrina Barbara
Relationships are the most important and the most complicated thing in most people's lives. I came to this work through twenty years of portrait photography and a decade in high-pressure crisis roles, reading emotional worlds, staying steady under strain and pressure, and seeing what was real beneath what was presented. It turns out that's exactly what couples in distress need as well.
I'm an Emotionally Focused Therapy-trained couples counsellor and a Life Member of ICEEFT, the international organisation founded by the late Dr. Sue Johnson that sets the standard for how Emotionally Focused Therapy is taught and practised worldwide. It works with the emotions and attachment needs underneath your arguments, not just the arguments themselves, because that's where the real work is.
ICEEFT Life Member
Emotionally Focused Therapy-trained
NMAS Accredited Mediator
+
Years working one-to-one with people
+
People I've worked with closely
Languages - English & German
A steadier space for the conversations that matter most.
ONLINE NATIONWIDE
In person in Wellington and Hawke’s Bay
How I Can Help
Services Designed for Every Stage of Your Relationship
Real Stories
From the Journal
